Thursday, June 21

what you see is not what you get: Mangga's confessions

Most of you know me as a happy go lucky girl, always on the
go, always into having fun and somebody who seems to have no problem at all…


Duh, what you see is not what you get… I may be happy
outside but inside im not that happy…


I don’t know… I just wish that someday id wake up one
morning and im in a place where nobody knows me, in a place that is so far far
away or at least a place new to me… or maybe I could be like Jenna Rink from
the movie 13 going on 30… in which id wake up one day and im already 30 and
having a life of my own…


You know the feeling that you don’t want to be alone… because
once your alone, all your worries, fears and insecurities will be haunting your


sometimes it feels like im so tired of my life.. and that my
life sucks… im not really trying to be pathetic here.. this is just what I feel
right now… waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh….


I don’t really just tell my friends about my dramas in life…
it’s just that, they’re not really used of me telling them dramas… usually they
wont believe me or they will just make fun of me… huhuhuhuhu….


So that is why, I only put my kadramahan in life in my blog… duh…


And oh, you know why I wake up late… (hahaha.. you don’t even
know that I wake up late)… neweiz, I usually wake up late because I don’t want
to wake up with my father inside the house.. it just feels like he is going to scold
me, he is going to talk about all my failures and how useless I am… so that is
the reason why every time I wake up and I would hear his voice id try to sleep


Sometimes I feel like im a nobody… sometimes id wish im
living on my own…


Sometimes it feels like nobody understands me at home…


Or maybe, it’s true that im useless.. im inutile.. im a


You know, how much it hurts when your parents tell you that
they dont really like you?...

You know how much it hurts when your parent will tell you
that he wishes you were never born? (oh yeah, I wish I was never born too)

You know how much it hurts when your parent will tell you
that it so nice to kill you?...

You know how much it hurts not being listened to by your
parents? How much it hurts not able to express your feelings to your parents…


Sometimes I wish I am beaten physically than beaten
emotionally… waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh



Sometimes I wonder if they do really value me…


Oh, well, im not somebody to be proud of or to be valued
anyway… im a failure….


And oh, for the benefit of the doubt, I’m not hating anybody
right now…


I just hope and pray to have a peace of mind… and I wish the
all my thoughts will be gone… or maybe I would suffer from amnesia… whew…


And oh, you know what’s wrong with me?.. I keep on giving
advices to my friends… helping them to stand up… uplifting there spirit… but
deep inside I feel like going down, down down…



Continue Reading...

Wednesday, June 20

me in the limelight again.. wahahahaha

After three years of silence I finally performed in front of
a crowd… whew… hahahaha..


Not really into dancing anymore.. the last time I danced in front of a crowd was back in first year college… that was during our acquaintance
party.. we danced to the music of Black Eyed Peas… and that was shut up…


Oh no, that’s not the last time, the last time was during
the Dance Palabas or the Mass Dance back in first year college.. that was
during the LSU intramurals… whew..



And now, here I am.. dancing to the beat of Itaktak and Adododo a famous pop dance here in the country…


Well, I don’t know… at first I was thinking that, it’s ok if
I dance at least only my DevCom family will be there, until I realized hey, I’ll
be dancing infront of the students and faculty under the College of Agriculture…


I wanted to back out, but they wont let me.. because
according to our instructor everybody should have a presentation.. he wont
promise for an incentive but he promise a punishment for those who wont join
the presentation.. waaaaaaaaaahhhhhh… kaloka na man to… waaaaaaaaahhhhhh


Neweiz, so here is the video of our dance



You can’t find me?... well, that’s your problem.. ahihihi



Neweiz, I have more videos during that night… it’s in my
youtube channel… its


I only took a video of the presentation of my DevCom family…
hahahahah.. bias bah?... ahihihi… sory, I only have 1 gig memory card… I cant
take a video of the whole program.. duh… waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh




Neweiz, before I will publish this blog, I want to share
this pic..



I don’t know.. I just find it nice and amazing.. (hahahaha..
strong word?.. ahihihi) I just like it.. I like the shot… and my model?.. I find
him cute in this pic, coz he looks like the lost big brother of Yong An of
Going Bulilit…

Hahahaha.. hoi Cata!... ig.unsa man gyud mo ni Yong An ug ni
Manong Frank.. wahahahahahahaha

Continue Reading...

Tuesday, June 19

discrimination... anoyed me this morning


i was in the terminal this morning on my way to school.
then, Esther walay panty and her friend, got inside the cab for a ride to

then, suddenly the driver was like making them get out from
the multicab coz, according to him they wont pay.. (talk about discrimination)

so, Esther got mad and shouted… she was like asking him if
he got evidence that they wont pay. She was even threatening him that she is going
to stone him if he will try her.. if he will provoke her to…


I was just sitting in my seat inside the cab silently…
watching them…


By the way, Esther and her friend (I don’t know the name) is
known here in baybay as crazy and mentally retarded (redundancy?.. ahihihihi)


Back to the topic


So, there I was sitting and silently watching them…

The driver eventually surrendered and went back to his seat…
hey, if he wont, he will be making me late from my class… coz, he is the only
one the passengers were waiting for… duh!...


So, again, there I was, (hahahaha.. im going round in
circles… waaaaahhhh) I was really annoyed by the driver’s actions… he was
murmuring, and discriminating them…

Hey, they weren’t doing anything bad… they were just sitting
silently as if normal people…


When, they got off, of course they paid their ride and gave
6 pesos each.. the driving asked them, for additional 1 php coz, according to him
it should be 7 pesos… duh!... but they did not gave him the 1 peso because
Esther know that the fare is only 6 pesos…


I was just controlling my temper… he was delaying our ride
plus he was discriminating them… and i know that Esther did the right thing... not making some stupid driver abuse them....


whew… im just so glad we finally arrived
in LSU and I wasn’t late…




Continue Reading...

Sunday, June 10

news news news

Good news


Im taller now… I had my physical medical exam last Thursday…




not so good news


I grew taller for only 0.3 cm… im now 160.5 from 160.2






Good or bad news


Im loosing weight.. from 50 kilos last year to 47.8 now… ewan ko lang kung good news bah to or bad news… waaaaaahhhhh







Good news


i killed CC sa game na DotA.. magaling kasi sa dota yun eh... waaaaaaahhhhh




not so bad news


my Hero to Sam… Sam, yung nagcontrol talaga ng Hero ko.. waaaahh. Pero
I didn’t shared my hero after that nah.. kasi nalaman nila eh.. waaaahh




Another good news


Im getting better sa DotA nah








Good news


na uli kami ni Sam.. din a kasi mahagilap ang batang yan.. sa kakalaro
ng DotA eh.. ng dahil sa DotA na rin.. kaya nagkakabonding kami


Not so Bad news


Nauubos na ang pera ko.. sa kakalaro ng DotA… si Sam kasi supper adik.. waaaahhh.. pero enjoy naman.. kaya not so bad news,,,






Good news


Pasukan na naman.. hello allowance!… hello classmates!… hello kalokohan!




Bad news


na naman.. welcome overtime! And welcome overnight!... waaahhh… wala pa
rin akong thesis topic until now.. INC parin sa DC198.. waaaaaahh




Not so bad news


Last year ng college na ako.. mamimiss ko nah mga classmates ko.. huhuhu… pero


lang magkaroon ako ng trabaho

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