Friday, October 24

how am i?

i have been txting with few of my friends today... everytime they ask me how am i this is what i tell them...

im ok... im just suffering from mild depression, nostalgia and paranoia... and you can also include mild astraphobia... i need a psychiatrist or a psychologist...

i told them, i just need somebody will just listen to me talk... i just feel so alone right now...

Jay told me that i should go out with my friends here... i told him that i dont know anybody from here.. my only friends here are them (planeteers 62) and i cant even reach them... if bulacan is near from our place i was supposed to go there because he is a teacher in bulacan and they are having their UN celebration...

iking and i were talking about growing... i told iking that i really want to go back to leyte, i guess this is just what happens when your a spoiled brat and youre used to being with friends and then suddenly your alone... (well, im not totally alone, im with my sis but we dont get to talk me coz she's always asleep) i want to go home but i want to stay because i want to grow... Iking actually agreed coz its also what he is feeling right now... all we could do is to encourage both of us that we can do this and we can cross this trial...
when raf asked me how am i, i told him the same thing... about how i am feeling and that i miss them too... all the planeteers...

raf: h2 oky namn kami ni Win s floor, bkt knmn nagdadaan s mga ganyang prob? Nasaan nah c jaz?

me: hehe.. ikamuztah mo ako kay sherwin hah.. buti pa kau.. mis ko nah talaga kau... katxt ko pala c kamuning kanina we were thinking of a reunion. paul suggested bubbagump greenbelt3. kamuning wanted a place na centro sa ating lahat para fair daw..

jaz is gone with the wind... lost in the middle of nowhere... the friend i tot i can run to when i need him is suddenly gone..

grabe.. namis ko kau.. nagapply ako kahapon,i saw those newbies.. naalala ko tau nung job offere.. we were so excited.. comparing our scheds... lalo nah kau ni grace kasi d bah tau naman talaga ung magkabatch sa preassesment?.. hehehe

so yeah.. there goes the conversation... i told him that i used to be emotionally strong but now im getting emotionally weaker... and all raf could do is to tell me to continue to be with God... to surrender all my problems to God because only God can help me...

jas: ano bah problema mo?

(i was quiet shocked why he asked me that... is it really for me?... but i answered it anyway.. i guess natamaan sa txt ko.. haha)

me: huh?.. wla naman naman akong problema.. im just suffering from mild mental disorders... and i need a psyhologist or a psychiatrist.. hhaha.. bakit?.. ikaw? ano problema mo?

jas: see, jst as i tot, ur not gonna tell me what keepz u bothering, nd ur ending up lyk u hav mental disorder evnthough u dont hv!?. what's wrong with u?. is it me?..

me: hahaha.. how come its u?... ok i am suffering from mild depression, nostalgia and paranoia.. u can also include mild astraphobia.. ahihihi...

have u ever had the feeling that u cry for no particular reason at all?.. you want to talk to somebody but there is no body?...

me: my life is boring..

i dont have a job...

i miss the people in my life..

i miss the people in leyte and i miss my friends in PS.. i miss PS...

the only close friend i have in mm whom i think i can run to is gone with the wind...

i have nobody to talk to..

i feel isolated..

that is what is so wrong with me...

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oh well, does anybody out there got the cure for these?... thankzzzzzzz.....

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