Thursday, December 25

another christmas

Merry Christmas all!... may the true spirit of Christmas fill your heart not just today but always...

oh well, i have been greeting everybody a merry christmas... i have been trying to be merry this christmas... waaaaahhh..

ive been trying to smile, laugh and all.. i shared chocolates with my teammates, greeting everybody ith all out smile tryng to hide what i really feel inside..

i feel like im cursed.. every christmas is not really that merry for me... its either, i have a problem, a fight with my sibling, im alone, bored or heartbroken...

i dont know, but this christmas is just so boring... this is actually the first december that i never been to a party.. and this is the first christmas that i am away from home... i am with my sister actually but we didnt really celebrated christmas.. we just slept and didnt had a noche buena...

yesterday or shall i say yesternight, my friend and i had to walk home from galeria... he hates the long queue to ride a jeepney... he has been asking sory and asking me if its ok with me to just walk.. told him, its ok it doesnt matter and i dont mind besides i want to be exhausted so i can sleep... im insomniac and i hate it...

i was laughing with the silly and corny joke we had but the truth is i am bleeding inside... i dont know why... i just feel alone.. plus i felt like crying.. i dont know, i guess it was because i heard another sad love story again... i dont know why that i feel like i am the one who is hurt everytime i hear sad love story... i wasnt like this before.. waaaaahhhhhh...

also, i felt sad because i know that my christmas will just be boring... i miss my parents.. i miss home.. i miss everybody...

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this morning i was txting with a friend, my officemate who just had dengue.. she told me that, she will be back by january but she will be in another acount... she shared about her slight amnesia.. well, its not really amnesia but her brain got affected when she was ill that there are certain part of her life that she forget... i wish i was the one with that problem and not her.. she told me it is difficult but i want that... i want to forget certain part of my past... i want to be someone new.. waaaaahhh...

i wish i would finally completely accept the fact that those will forever be part of my life....

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we went to megamall today.. but before that, i had a small fight with my sis... i just hate being diturbed if i am talking with somebody on the phone..

neweiz, we watched Iskul Bukol (official entry of the MMFF).. its funny, really... and there was lots of people watching... but yet, i wasnt enjoying it that much... i dont know why... i am bored to death that even Tito, Vic and Joey cant take away my boredom..

upon going home, i told my sis that i will be staying in galeria first coz i will still have to look for something for our exchange gift.. actually i just dont wanna go home yet, i will be bored to death again... waaaahhh.. and i hate it, everytime i dont have anything to do, all i can do is buy something... stroll around and if i have the money buy something... waaaaaahhh.. i hate it its eating up my savings.. huhuhuh....

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anybody out there who can save me from this insanity?!...

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