Monday, March 9

alone again

here i am again in my room all alone
summer sun is burning but i am feeling cold
there you are again, haunting my mind
i hope soon i will be ok, as i was told

loud music is playing but it is still silent
in the quietness you voice is breaking
i need something that could doze me off
in the corner of my room blankly i am staring

promises were made but was never realized
lies that you told had me flattered
you swore forever but everything just end
now i am left alone and shattered

i ahve accepted the fact that you are gone
but why is it that tears still keep on falling
i am still missing you, am i insane?
probably this is the result of bitter ending

i had lots of questions in my mind
but neither one of them was answered
things seemed to be perfectly fine
i was blind the day you were uncovered

there is no forever and things just change
here i am again, lost and feeling cold
my heart has been broken to peices
yet i know soon i will be ok as i was told

[caption id="attachment_548" align="alignnone" width="224" caption="there you are again, bugging my mind"]there you are again, bugging my mind[/caption]
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Saturday, March 7

25 random things

I just got this game from facebook.. i just feel like continuing the game here in fs.. or at least, i just want to add something in my blog.. lol

neweiz, maybe i could tag some people here in fs too... and hope these people wont be a little KJ.. lol

if i could tag people in FS then it would be Fergie, Mariam, Daddy Chitto, Mommy Lirah, Jenny, Naji, Genevie-an, Analuo V., Roxanne, Kitty, Cherylyn T, Ehking, and all the people who do friendster blog here... lol... sorry, i dont know a lot of my fs friends blogging here in friendster.. :)


Laddie tagged me and so did Cheng.. and i find it exciting... weeeeeeiiii...

so here is my part...

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. Im suffering from a mild insomnia. I find it hard to sleep (most of the time) that sometimes I would exhaust my self to get me to sleep, other times I take stresstabs (they say it lulls you to sleep because of the iron). Sometimes taking sleeping pill would cross my mind but I never tried it.

2. I am also suffering from mild astraphobia. Thunders and lightnings make my heart beats fast. It frightens me. I hate the heavy rain, especially when im alone in a room and I cant hear anything but the sound of the petter pattering of the rain in the rooftop. It will drive me nuts.

3. Im registered to a lot of social networking sites. You name it, I got it. Lol. Yet, I only update few. And I met lots of people and new friends and even celebrities because of it. Im also a forummer, but as of this time I seldom visit those forums because im busy.. lol

4. Im into writing. Writing is one of my instant picker upper. That is the reason why I got a lot of blogsites. My friends, back in college have been telling me to major in journalism but I didn’t.

5. And because I am into computer, I always get the technical position whenever we have group activities in college. I was the layout artist in journalism, I get to edit our recordings and arrange them in our broadcasting projects. I get to edit videos in our computer applications in DC class. And because im not afraid to explore PC applications and all, they come to me when they have problems. This is also the reason my friends suggested that I should major in Education Communication Technology.

6. I was in the middle of confusion then, and I ended up taking Community Broadcasting. But now, everytime I think of getting a job in the media I want to be behind the camera, in the technical room. Do the editing and stuff like that.. whew.

7. Most of the time, people think im snob and all but im not. They will realize that later. People in my first company think im the sweet-innocent-girly girl, but im not or at least sometimes. Lol. People in my current company think I’m the sweet-jolly-not-so-innocent-kind girl. Oh well, just don’t get into my nerves. A colleague realized that when I get back to customers that gets into my nerves. bwahahahaha.
8. a colleague asked me if I was a model. Another asked me if I did modeling. Another suggested that I should try. Oh well, to be honest that was one of my frustration. Actually that was my dream profession when I was young. Its because I was tall and my family has been telling I should be a model when I grow up. My brother even suggested that I apply modeling in Australia (her wife has a friend there).. waaaahhh.. are you kidding me?!... 9. I got a lot of frustrations. I was a frustrated writer. I wanted to be part of the staff writers of our school paper in high school but I never had the guts, I ended up being in a lousy English club. I even considered being part of the staff of our paper in college. Whew. I was also a frustrated volleyball player but I was never trained. I want to learn billiards, lawn tennis, swimming and all but I didn’t have the chance. I want to learn the guitar, but I ditched guitar class back in high school. Lol.

10. I get commendation from friends, instructors and trainers about the way I speak English. Some asked me were I got my accent. I guess its from watching TV.. lol

11. You may not noticed it but I have a lazy eye. I guess that’s the reason why some of my friends think I look like Toni Gonzaga and Maricar de Mesa. Hahaha. I also had a friend who find my eyes cute. He thinks Im kirat. My left eye is smaller than my right.

12. Most of the people I know thinks I look like Jopay Paguia. But my sister’s colleagues and some of mine thinks I look like Precious Lara Quigaman. Whew, that’s bunch of celebrities. Hei, what about Hollywood actress look-a-like?

13. Shopping can also be my instant picker upper. When I am alone and bothered about anything, I go to any mall (Robinsons Galleria is the nearest), I buy anything that could just satisfy me. When I don’t have money, I just go window shopping, go home when I’m already exhausted. I also love shopping alone.

14. Internet is another instant picker upper. I forget my problems when I am online. That is the reason why I got lots of networking sites and forums.

15. I had my water baptism when I was 20. I have been a Christian since birth but I was like a mere church goer by then. I wanted to take my water baptism when I was still in elementary but for some reason I wasn’t able to. Guess I wasn’t ready. Before I had my water baptism I committed back to the Lord, I understood much better what water baptism is about.

16. I don’t know, but I feel unlucky when it comes to love life. I got broken, yet I know someday I will be whole again. Now, somehow, I don’t wanna fall unless its for the man who asked me from God. That’s what I am praying now, to control my emotions and keep my foolish heart from falling.

17. If I get married, I want it to be with a man that I really know. I want a long relationship or long engagement. Im afraid of ending up with the wrong man. I want a man who asked me from God.

18. Im sentimental. I keep memorabilia if I can. I take lots of pictures. My camera is my bestfriend. My pc’s memory is full of pictures. I don’t wanna miss any event. I take pictures and I take videos. And if I feel like giving, I give my friends something that will remind them of me and us. Sometimes I write letters to them. And I prefer giving personalized cards than any other. ;)

19. I’m a self confessed environmentalist. Even when I was in elementary my dream was to become rich and help the poor and help the environment. I even encouraged my peers to create Save-the-Earth posters. We made posters or flyers out bond papers and crayons. I even posted it outside our house. Whew. I feel sad if see denuded forest, dirty rivers and garbage in the sea. Its like I want to clean them all… waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

20. I cant go out without my lip balm. My lips dries easily. I got 3 lip balms at the moment, Chapstick, Nivea and Godiva. Im using my Godiva now. Also, I cant go out without my face powder although my skin isn’t really oily. Also I always have my eyeliner. Yet, take away everything in my kikay kit. Not just my lip balm. Okiez?

21. I got an obsession with headbands. Lol. My sis had to ask me when would I move on from headbands. If you only saw my collection of headbands when I was still a kid. You will be amazed. I don’t ask for toys or at least I seldom ask for toys, I would asked for headbands, hair clips or hair scrunchies. Sometimes I don’t really use it or I use it just once.. waaaaahhhh

22. I used to have lots of accessories and I used to style my hair a lot. I would even mixed and matched my outfit. When I was in College I didn’t realized that the dorm boys call me anime until a friend told me so.

23. I find it hard buying jeans and formal blouses that I usually end up buying skirts and dress and shirts that would just match with jeans. Now, I need to buy more jeans and longer skirts and formal blouses so the guard wont give me infraction again… waaaahhhhhh

24. I love the ocean, I love the sea, I love the river, I love the waters yet I don’t know how to swim. I even want my wedding to be near the waters especially near a river. And I swore to myself that ill wear bikini before I die.. lol

25. My life verse is Proverbs 3:5-6, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. And my Prayer verse is Psalms 51:10, Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
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