Thursday, September 30

2nd Payment from LogiPTC

i received my 2nd payment from LogiPTC yesterday, but i didnt have the time to post it here.. im busy with my cute little angel.. angel
anyway, here is my payment proof
minimum payout is $5 but not like other PTC you earn really fast with LogiPTC even without referals.. just remember to install the toolbar so you will be updated for new ads available.. kenyit

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Tuesday, September 28

This is My Confessions

Im home from the hospital... i know, not many of you know what is really happening with my life now.. what is the real deal... a lot has been asking why i quit my job and there were speculations on it...

well, yes, i was pregnant but contrary to the gossips, i did not quit my job because i got pregnant, i wasnt aware until it was already two weeks since i got home or since i quit my job.. something happened that my family decided to take me back home, but if i have known, i wouldnt agree, staying at home for a year without income is boring... lol sengihnampakgigi

anyway, i didnt really talk about it because i wanted peace.. our relationship was fine, but things has been slowly changing... i tried to save our relationship until i found out something that made me give up... i let go.. yes, i love him so much but i let go... i had to... i chose to be quiet because i was trying to forget... and i thought, nobody would understand me... i was madly in love with a known heartbreaker..

i didnt really want the baby, he wanted this... when i found out i was pregnant, tears fell, i felt like my life has changed now.. im becoming a mother.. but i was also excited because when i told him about it, he showed excitement.. i thought, i would be going back to Manila.. we had plans... i was happy, i thought this baby is a blessing for our relationship...

a month later, we reconciled... i accepted him back... he made a lot of promises and i believed him... i thought he came back because God made us for each other... i was wrong... weeks before my due, he broke my heart again... i didnt want to give up on him... i was hoping and praying that he would change... i love him so much, i accepted everything about him... i saw him as the person that i wanted him to be... but things didnt turn out the way i hoped... again, i had to give up... i need to move on... i had to accept that we are not for each other...

now, its official, I am a single mom, and i was a single mom even before my baby is born... i delivered a very cute and healthy baby that looks a lot like him... its just so sad, they wont know each other... its so sad that he doesnt really care at all.. i have always thought that he will become a good father... but he is gone now...

never have i imagined myself being a single mom... all i wanted in my life is to get married, have a baby and see my baby's dad excited about it... see him play with our baby... i wanted to take care of the both of them... but then again, my life has changed..

i thought, i would shed a lot of tears when i see the baby because my baby doesnt have a dad, because the man i love just broke my heart... but, i shed tears of joy, when i saw my baby... its true, nothing compares to the happiness when a mom finally meet her baby that has lived in her womb for nine months...

i was so grateful that i had a safe delivery, and it wasnt really painful as i thought.. I wanted him to be with me when i give birth to our child, i wanted him to hold me but it was God who held my hand and God will be the father to my baby...

Yes, i still love him... sometimes, i would wonder how does it feel being with him now with our baby.. will he be proud with our baby... i still wonder how it would feel if he kept his promises... after everything he has done, my heart still loves him but my mind keeps telling me its more than enough, i should give up.. and i know, i have to use my mind this time...

im not the first single mom... some of them even see the dad often that i wonder how can they move on.. in my case, i probably will never see him anymore, which would help me move on... plus, i have a BIG God, He will keep me strong... kenyit


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Friday, September 17

paid by NeoPTC

NeoPTC pays... i just received my first payment from them.. transaction was made via alertpay..
its honestly my first transaction in alertpay.. so now, i have something in it.. lol
here is my payment proof

ill be posting this in the forum for an exchange of Golden membership... duit

byebye for now..
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Sunday, September 12

Moving On with God

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18

wow, i never really thought moving on will be easy.. specially with the intense feeling i had for him.. i gave him all, made a lot of sacrifices to save his life.. he was drowning but i saved him, and all i got was him breaking my heart..putuscinte

from the time i came back home, every night, i was crying... i would miss him, crazy thoughts would come in my mind... i would pray to God that our relationship will work even if we are far from each other. i would ask God to protect us and our relationship... until i had to give up, he has done something that broke my heart... i let go.. i ended our communication.. i was moving on...

it was really hard for me.. every night, i would cry.. nobody to talk to.. i kept everything to myself.. i have been praying, that even if he broke my heart, God would touch him, protect him.

when everybody left him, nobody to help him, he came back to me... he was drowning and i saved him.. he made promises.. assuring me, he will change and will never leave me again. never break my heart. i believed him again.. i thought he has learned.. i thought, God gave him to me.. i thought, everything is doing well between us... but he did it again... he hasnt change..putuscinte

when i found out about him with another girl, i was shocked, i couldn't understand how can he do that. he said, i was the only person that truly loves him, next to his mom, and will never want to loose me again.. but it was so easy for him to break my heart.. our plans are lost.. everything is lost..

when we talked, i had a lot of question for him, i hated the girl for she knows that he is still in a relationship... i wanted to save our family, i wanted to save our relationship but i just had to give up.. i still had a lot of questions for him but i didnt wait for his answers.

while we were talking, my heart was breaking, i cant sleep, i cant breath, but there wasnt a single tear that fell.. i can hear God telling me, he is not for me.. but that time, i was still being stubborn, i wanted to know, why this has to happen in my life.. why does he has to do this to me.. why does he has to ruin my life... i thought he was already for me... why?.. all i did was loved him and gave him all... but God just kept on insisting that he is not for me..

so i just prayed, i prayed that God will keep me sane... will hold my hand and wont leave me.. i prayed that he will help me move on.. i admitted i made a mistake, i asked forgiveness and i asked him to protect me...doa

God used people to talk to me, to finally open my eyes... on our first break up, i was quiet.. i kept everything to myself, but this time, i opened up my feelings to a few people.. i finally accepted the fact that i have loved a man who barely treats me right.. that i have loved a cheater... there were a lot of things about him that i chose to keep to myself, because i only wanted to see what i wanted him to be.... it was crazy, i was crazy.. i was blind...

last friday, i talked to my mom, i asked her to pray for me, for complete peace of mind.. honestly i was having crazy thoughts, i dont know what will happen to my future now.. i was feeling ruined...
she reminded me to just completely trust God.. she reminded me of
1. when Jesus calms the storm (Mark 4:35-40)
2. when Jesus let peter walk in the sea (Mathew 14:28-32)
3. the story of the Footprints in the Sand, when you thought that you were alone, God was carrying you

we prayed, and things are getting better really, i realized a lot of things...

last night we had cell group meeting here (bible study meeting).. our topic was on psalms 34.. and i was assigned to read verses 15-20.. and while as i was reading it, i was holding back my tears... i felt like it was talking about what is happening in my life now...

15. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry.
16. the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth
17. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles.
18. the Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.
19. Many are those afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
20. He guards, all his bones, not one of them is broken..

yes, i wanted to cry, i was touched by this passage.. I know God wont leave me.. all i did was love but they cheated on me..

Before i was with him, i told myself i will only accept the man that has asked me from my Father (God) but when he came, i was in a hurry and decided for myself.. i accepted him.. i learned to love him, i gave him all.. i didnt want to loose him, but i was praying that God will save me from this intense feeling, but still didnt want to loose him.. he did another mistake again, that even broke my parents trust, i was brought here but i was still into him... i was still trying to work things out, until the day i had to let go, i thought it was God's way to save me..
when he came back, i accepted him again and thought that he will change,.. i thought he might be really for me.. i thought we were already inseparable.. i loved him more.. it was late for me to realize everything... but not too late.. it was hard.. it was sudden.. but i know, God did it again, to save me, to save my future, to open my eyes..

im really getting better now.. i never thought it would be like this.. i thought i would cry out all night, every night but instead, im getting a good night sleep.. im moving on.. i remember telling myself, that i dont want to regret, because i didnt give us another chance.. i gave us a chance, he blew it,.. at least, all i did was loved him.. my conscience is clean, and i never failed to show him how much i loved him..

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Saturday, September 11

2nd cashout from neobux

i just decided to finaly make my second cashout from neobux today, one of the most trusted paid to click site in the web... of course i received it instantly... here is my payment proof...duitduitduit

hope you get to cash out yours soon... just click the banner below if you havent signed up yet... its never too late to join.. kenyit

byebye for now...
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Friday, September 3

im letting go

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Wednesday, September 1

my first payment from VIPClix

what a good way to start the month.. i received my first payment from VIPClix, another trusted PTC.... at least i am able to divert my attention from the feeling of loneliness..

minimum payment is $2 with 5% fee.. its ok as long as they are paying and its fast.. received it in just a couple of days from the time i requested it... here is my payment proof


if you havent included VIPClix in your PTC list, include it now and start getting paid..

byebye for now.. babai
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