Friday, September 3

im letting go

i finally let go.. i finally realize the pain is more than enough... its just so hard to love someone too much and left unappreciated.. i have made sacrifices for him, but i guess it wasnt enough... he made promises, i believed on it but i was late to realize he doesnt really intend to keep it..putuscinte

he left me once, came back when he had none, i believed all those promises and lies again, accepted him back and loved him even more, i was rebuilding my dreams, but he destroyed it again..

they said, love will be lovelier the second time around, in my case it was lovelier, only for a short period of time...

i have loved Mr. Wrong hoping he will soon become Mr. Right, i tried to be the Ms. Right for him, but he wanted more...

i failed in love, and a friend have told me i failed in love because i believed in it, and added that we could never asked for more from someones heart.. well, i learned it the hard way.

they say, its better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all, but broken as i am, i would say that its better if i have never loved at all...

i dont know what he is up to now, he probably is enjoying himself while i am still trying to pick up the broken pieces he has caused.. again... i wonder if i can even put it back together... i want to be mad at him, but i just cant... guess it wont help.. ill just pray.. someday, soon he will learn to love... ill just pray that, someday, soon i will forget he even exist... doa

i have hoped this time it wont end, but it did...

now, that im broken, im feeling a little claustrophobic again... probably its the feeling of loneliness... i dont even want to go to the shower and when i go, i dont totally close the door... its just that, im feeling alone and with the water from the shower, it makes my tears fall, knowing that nobody will notice i cried..

its weird, i dont want to be alone but i dont want go out... i dont want to see people, i dont want to see couples.. i dont want to meet a friend on the street and ask me how i am or how he is or how we are.. oh damn, i want to move on.. so please, just help me you people... nangih

i hate it when the night comes, its when the reality comes on me again..

wahhhhh... i dont even know why i am blogging about this... probably i just need to vent out.. sometimes, its just so easy to talk to people who dont really care.. who dont really know you...

i got to go... before i burst into tears again... sedih



P.S.
a friend sent me this message just a few minutes ago, and i havent even really told her im going through this really hard time of my life..

"ang mabigat ay gumagaan, kapag binitawan"



makes sense?


"learn to let go when you're hurting too much"
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